My dear friend and colleague, Ayelet Berman Cohen, is a Dreamer. That means that prophetic dreams have been coming to her almost every night for over twenty years. A recurrent image is Golden Fish and gold fish. She dreams War and she dreams the antidote to War, the two dreams often in tandem. Occasionally, she dreams the medicine for the restoration of the natural world. When the Golden Fish appear, sometimes raining down, sometimes circling in the air, sometimes manifesting as a gift, they are the medicine.
Thank you for sharing these profound teachings on YOM Kippur. It brings me back to the precious times I have been able to join the circle on the Topanga land you have tended so carefully. I can imagine the magic and awe with the “coincidence” of the golden fish earrings. I am called to revisit with deeper questions the dream I had 2 nights ago of trying to wrestle an alligator as it escapes leaving its tail in my hand.
Thank you, Deena, for your beautiful wisdom and Golden Fish this evening…
Your friend’s realization of giving dreams, your writing . . . and my own song.
I wrote and recorded “Golden Fish” three years ago in memory of my dad some months after he died. It’s obscure, and my friends don’t usually understand it, so I feel a need to explain a little.
This song “Golden Fish” refers to three memories intertwined into a dream of reconciliation with my father. It’s an offering of “atonement” of sorts in the sense of reparation. Sometimes I’m not singing for others, I’m singing for Spirit.
The first memory is from when I was five years old, and he took me on a fishing trip. He seldom did anything like this and never fished. I caught a huge trout, and he wrestled to bring it into our rowboat, but it fell back into the lake. I knew even that young he felt he’d failed me. I think he felt incompetent as a father more often than I realized during our life together.
The second memory is of being a young teenager and longing for his involvement, but he’d often drink and be depressed or angry. I’d climb trees, take drugs, and get in trouble.
The last memory held inside this dreaming song is of a lucid conversation we had a few years before he got dementia. It was about whether there was “something more.” He doubted this could be so, but he wasn’t certain. I wanted to go back in time to tell him, “There is the small matter of prayer…” I wanted him to know Golden Fish surround him.
When I saw the subject line of your group email, I thought somehow you’d heard this song. When I read what you wrote about your friend and the 19 ways, I knew somehow you’d heard this song.
Deena, many years ago I was a student in the CIIS Women’s spirituality doctoral program. The first of its kind. I took a writing workshop from you that had a profound impact on my life. Now I am 74, living on the land of the ORegon Shasta, Takelma & Athabaskan People’s. I am a poet, writer & maker of classes which incorporate that doctoral background. The story I wrote during your workshop was titled Moving Between the Worlds which became an invitation to a chant song given to me as I drive across the Oakland Bay Bridge. It has become the song I use to initiate all my work. I take this opportunity to thank you for that workshop, for you & the powerful work we do as sisters of words, dreams & visions. Shalom & Blessed be. Louise Pare, Ashland, OR 🙏♥️🇺🇦🥰
Inspired and humbled by the determination to follow through on Spirit's message. I definately haven't done that, nor Have I forgotten the messages - a strange mixture of grieving and hope.
Dearest Deena,
Thank you for sharing these profound teachings on YOM Kippur. It brings me back to the precious times I have been able to join the circle on the Topanga land you have tended so carefully. I can imagine the magic and awe with the “coincidence” of the golden fish earrings. I am called to revisit with deeper questions the dream I had 2 nights ago of trying to wrestle an alligator as it escapes leaving its tail in my hand.
A deep bow to you and the community.
With appreciation,
Kathy Farah
A different story of loaves and fishes, interesting.
Thank you, Deena, for your beautiful wisdom and Golden Fish this evening…
Your friend’s realization of giving dreams, your writing . . . and my own song.
I wrote and recorded “Golden Fish” three years ago in memory of my dad some months after he died. It’s obscure, and my friends don’t usually understand it, so I feel a need to explain a little.
This song “Golden Fish” refers to three memories intertwined into a dream of reconciliation with my father. It’s an offering of “atonement” of sorts in the sense of reparation. Sometimes I’m not singing for others, I’m singing for Spirit.
The first memory is from when I was five years old, and he took me on a fishing trip. He seldom did anything like this and never fished. I caught a huge trout, and he wrestled to bring it into our rowboat, but it fell back into the lake. I knew even that young he felt he’d failed me. I think he felt incompetent as a father more often than I realized during our life together.
The second memory is of being a young teenager and longing for his involvement, but he’d often drink and be depressed or angry. I’d climb trees, take drugs, and get in trouble.
The last memory held inside this dreaming song is of a lucid conversation we had a few years before he got dementia. It was about whether there was “something more.” He doubted this could be so, but he wasn’t certain. I wanted to go back in time to tell him, “There is the small matter of prayer…” I wanted him to know Golden Fish surround him.
https://youtu.be/pIxf3kANCF8?si=VurMv59pfxrEjIJu
When I saw the subject line of your group email, I thought somehow you’d heard this song. When I read what you wrote about your friend and the 19 ways, I knew somehow you’d heard this song.
Love,
Dave
Here are the lyrics:
Golden Fish
There is the small matter of prayer
There is the small matter of prayer
There was the time
We stood on the shore
When the Golden Fish multiplied
But you said you saw Nothing
While I was holding onto Everything,
A Golden Fish in my hand.
You preferred numbness and ease,
But there’s never a breeze there,
Just wait until you give up,
And finally surrender,
Then it all falls upon you,
Golden Fish start to whisper, bringing
Peace and grace,
An end to your pain,
A better reason to live
Than to get caught out in the rain
There’s wisdom in grief
I can hear this refrain:
“Take me back where we were,
Northern lights that astound,
Make me whole once again,
Those old memories abound
Golden Fish being pulled in
Once again from the sea,
When you netted abundance
Trying to bring it to me
But believe me, this time
Our chance won’t slip away
I’ve both hands on the catch
In the sparkle of day.”
There is the small matter of prayer
There is the small matter of prayer
There was the time
You closed the door
With the Golden Fish just outside
And it seemed to mean Something
When I was grasping at Anything
Just to know Who You Are.
You deferred to your rum and Chablis
I just climbed up a tree where
I’d hoped you’d find me
Instead of go on a bender
Everything stalled out
I was chanting our vespers, daddy, singing
Peace and grace,
An end to our pain
A better reason to live
Than to get caught out in the rain
There’s wisdom in grief
Do you hear the refrain?
I overheard your remark
‘Live life without regret’
We will unmake the past
And forgive and forget
I offer this Golden Fish
As my first sacrifice
Now be nourished forever
You don’t have to pay twice
As you rest, you will witness
Many more fish appear
They lie far, then are gone,
They are close, they are here.
There is the small matter of prayer
There is the small matter of prayer
Deena, many years ago I was a student in the CIIS Women’s spirituality doctoral program. The first of its kind. I took a writing workshop from you that had a profound impact on my life. Now I am 74, living on the land of the ORegon Shasta, Takelma & Athabaskan People’s. I am a poet, writer & maker of classes which incorporate that doctoral background. The story I wrote during your workshop was titled Moving Between the Worlds which became an invitation to a chant song given to me as I drive across the Oakland Bay Bridge. It has become the song I use to initiate all my work. I take this opportunity to thank you for that workshop, for you & the powerful work we do as sisters of words, dreams & visions. Shalom & Blessed be. Louise Pare, Ashland, OR 🙏♥️🇺🇦🥰
Inspired and humbled by the determination to follow through on Spirit's message. I definately haven't done that, nor Have I forgotten the messages - a strange mixture of grieving and hope.